BRAIN WASH – RED, Soda Pop Review
November 9th, 2009 | by Conrad Walton |
It was a Monday morning, so I thought I’d try a little “Brain Wash” to get the week started. There’s “red” and there’s “blue”. I pick the “red” to start out.
It’s got a nice skull and cross bones with a brain, so I think this is going to be fun. We’ll laugh. We’ll joke. Ha ha ha.
I open the bottle and it smells kind of sweet, maybe fruity or something. Maybe a little too much like an energy drink. Maybe it’s a little too potent. HHmmm… We’ll see. My laughing and joking subside and are replaced with caution.
I take a sip. The first taste is like berry, or fruit of some sort, definitely sweet. Then there’s the citrus twang. Nice tartness after the sweet. Very strong flavor. Nothing subtle about this one.
OK. Wait. What’s this? What’s this after taste. There’s a bit of a bite to it. Interesting. Sweet, tart, then bite. What is that? Confusion rules my mind. Perhaps this is the part where the actual washing of the brain takes place.
Let me read those ingredients again.
INGREDIENTS: Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Caffeine, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Red #40, Herbal Blend consisting of: American, Siberian and Korean Ginseng, African Capsicum, Buchu, Echineacea, Jalapeno Oil, Ginkgo Biloba, Ginger, Gotu Kola, Kola Nut, Brazilian Guarana, Skullcap (Mad Dog Weed), Clove, Damiana, Sage, Sodium Benzoate (to preserve taste).
Wait, what was that? “African Capsicum”? “Jalapeno Oil”? In a soft drink? Oh, I can feel it now. My mouth is burning. I take another sip to cool it off. Wait for it. Yes, there’s the Jalapeno Oil kicking in. This has a hot after taste. Wow. Drink some more. Wow. My tongue has melted.
Wow again. Another sip, another “Wow”. My head wants to explode.
This is frat boy juice. This is what angry teens should drink. Pirates would love this stuff.
Wow. I can’t stop saying “wow”.
I drink the whole bottle. It does taste “red” and not “blue”, but wow, it’s got an after taste that will stay with you for a while.
I meet a friend for lunch and we go to our favorite Mexican food place. I have some chips and salsa, but the salsa tastes 3 times hotter because I can still taste the Brain Wash.
Wow.
Just wow.
Tags: Angry Teens, Artificial Flavors, Boy Juice, Brain Wash, Capsicum, Cross Bones, Damiana, Energy Drink, First Taste, Fructose Corn Syrup, Ginkgo Biloba, Gotu Kola, Guarana, Herbal Blend, High Fructose Corn, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Kola Kola, Kola Nut, Korean Ginseng, Skull And Cross Bones, Skull Bones, Skullcap, Soda Pop, Twang
